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The Lucky One

So I have been pretty focused on myself lately and I don’t like that at all. And Evan somehow still loves me through allllll of it. 

I honestly am so lucky and blessed. I do not know how or why I deserve Evan, but for some reason God wanted us to be together and for that I am so thankful. 

I just read a really cool article about 20 things this woman wants to tell newly engaged or married people, but I thought it applied to me and my life right now and I wanted to share it. 

1. Marriage is made up of two good forgivers. Because every marriage is made up of two sinners. (Romans 3:23)

2. At some point, you will have to learn that life isn’t all about you. (Philippians 2:3)

3. Don’t listen to women that tell you that passion fades…it doesn’t have to! (um…all of Song of Solomon)

4. Don’t give up. Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13)

5. He wants a kind wife, not a maid or another mother. Be nice. (Galatians 5:22-23)

6. Give your husband the gift of your respect.  He needs it more than you know. (Ephesians 5:33)

7. Be mindful of your expectations.

8. Honor the Lord above all things. Colossians 3: 17

9. Find your worth and security in the Lord, and don’t look to your husband to meet all of your needs.

10. Be very careful about reading romance novels, they set you up for an unrealistic view of romance.

11. Real romance is finding that one spot in the crook of his arm to snuggle into, that shared look over the dinner table when the kids are acting crazy, and the way he fixes the leaky sink when he is dog-tired after work.

12. Love is about relationship.  The more I love my husband, and seek a relationship with him, the less critical and duty-bound I become.  It is similar to my relationship with God.

13. Be thankful for the husband you have. Accept him as he is, not for what you want him to be.

14. Don’t compare!! Don’t buy into the game of comparing him with anyone else’s husband.

15.The Biblically “normal” marriage is filled with joy, connection, laughter, and peace. It’s not free of hurt feelings and conflict, but they know how to process their pain with one another so that they live more often in a meadow than at the scene of a train wreck.  This is not the average marriage, but it normal – -because it is a visible display of Jesus’ relationship with His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).

16. Your marriage is a testimony! “The #1 evangelistic tool in America (the world) today is a successful marriage, because it’s a living miracle!” – Dr. Joe Aldrich, former president of Multnomah Bible College.

17. Pray for your marriage. Pray hard.

18.I’ve heard that is gets better with age.  I have to say in my short {13 year} experience, that is so true.

19. Where there is God, there is always hope. Even for the most broken marriages. “With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

20.Marriage is commitment and sacrifice. But it’s also the best, most wild ride you will ever have with your best friend.

This makes me reevaluate the way I treat Evan and helps me know the correct way I should handle things. Thankful for this truth today.

Change.

God is changing a lot of things up lately. My desires….are different now then they were four months ago. I have prayed, and prayed and prayed about this…and I know what God is calling me to, but it just has some backlash. 

This decision that I am eventually going to have to make is weighing so hard on my heart. It is really draining me and I am nervous about what will happen to certain relationships when I make this choice. 

I just want everyone to know that this is what I feel God is calling me to do. And it’s VERY important to go where God is leading you. 

So here is to upcoming changes…..

Ohana

Ohana means family, and my oh my, family issues have been coming up a lot lately. I go in periods of emotions where I am mad and bitter, but then happy and feeling completely blessed.

I think about myself first a lot, and I don;t really take the time to think about how it is on the other side. I was always so jealous and mad about this new life my father had built with a new family, and I just felt like I was just brushed to the side and sort of “jipped”.

But, I have been thinking a lot, and also talking with some family members, and I have never thought about the flip side of this all. For my stepmom, I couldn’t imagine being married to someone who had been married and had a child. I am a very jealous person and that would just eat me up.

You wouldn’t feel like you got all that attention and love you originally get at the first part of a marriage. Also, you have a whole bunch of drama with the mother and blah blah blah. She loves me, I know she does, but it has to be exhausting always trying to do a balancing act. Also, when you have children, you want to have your family, be your family. I doubt you want another child from a past marriage haunting all of this family time.

I also understand why it is hard for my mother, but this is always going to be messy. There is always going to be drama, but this is my family. Ohana; this is it. I love them so much, and I know…I KNOW that each one of them love me back.

Instead of looking at it as, I have a family close to me who I see all the time and another family far away who I rarely see…and there is tension and blah blah blah…I have to think of it as…I have ALL of them who love me.

Not just one mom and one dad….I have Two moms, Two dads, and a brother and sister who I love with all my heart. I have a HUGE extended family, who has been nothing but supportive of me and my life.

I am constantly encouraged by my extended family, and I need to remember..that without the divorce and the second marriages, I wouldn’t have all these amazing, AMAZING human beings in my life, pouring into it.

Tonight, I am realizing a different thing than I have ever realized before.

My Ohana is messy, but it is beautiful. And for that, I am so thankful.

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